What is it that husbands want from their wives today? How about wives from their husbands?

Obviously, we all want romance, although husbands and wives generally think of romance differently. Actually, we all want something else even more. The Bible spells it out clearly.

Wives, for the most part want to be loved and cherished, adored and appreciated.

Husbands, for the most part want to be respected.

I can only speak of wives and what they want from two perspectives. First, as an observer of women, I have noticed that most women want to be appreciated. I have a wife and two daughters. They appreciate the little things. They like to have the door opened for them and they want strong, godly men. They want to be led by men of faith, men that they can count on when times are tough.

Second, the Bible makes it clear that husbands should love their wives. In the Bible, the word for love is Agape, a word that describes selfless, self-giving love, the kind of love that looks out for the best interest of the other person. This word for love doesn’t so much describe a mushy feeling as it does a settled action. It’s this kind of love that most women crave.

For husbands, I can speak from three perspectives–from the Bible, from talking to other men, and from my own point of view. All three point to one great need–to be respected. I read of a survey a few years ago that substantiated the importance of respect. The survey asked the question of a statistically significant number of men. The survey question went something like this: “If you had these two choices which would you choose?  (1) You could live in contact with other people and be loved but not respected or (2) you could live isolated and alone but respected.”

In overwhelming numbers, men chose to be respected even though they had to live in isolation. That would be my choice as well.

Now let me show you a verse of Scripture. Before surveys or the advent of modern psychology, God told husbands and wives to live this way: “However, each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). This summarizes both what husbands and wives need and how God made us to be.

When we live according to God’s ways, we give ourselves the chance to live the most meaningful life possible. May it be so with you today.

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