“Marriage Is Good But You Have To Work At It”

I can still see him in my mind.

He’s a tall, thin man standing on his raised front porch. I am his pastor and have visited in his home as part of my pastoral relationship. We’ve had a nice time visiting and he walks me to his front door. I’m standing next to my car with the door open.

The subject changes to the pastor’s upcoming marriage. It’s a big deal when the young pastor of a church is about to be married. Sometimes over those several months Martha and I were engaged, it was hard to get the subject to anything else.

I don’t know how old Braxton Leverette was. I was 20 or 21 and he had children my age–I played baseball against one of his sons. I suppose he would have been the age of my parents.

There were a lot of things I didn’t know then, and he helped me with one of those that day.

Standing on his front porch he talked about my upcoming marriage and he gave me advice which I’ve never forgotten and I’ve seen the value of over and over.

Marriage is good but you have to work at it.

I’ve kidded Martha through the years, telling her I didn’t have a clue what he meant until the day of our wedding and then it became clear. It’s not a joke, it really did become clear.

Marriage is good. I highly recommend it. Martha has enriched my life. She’s brought a joy and companionship that was beyond my imagination when I stood by my Ford Mustang that day.

But, you do have to work at it. You have to work at patience and kindness. You have to work at communication and understanding. You have to work at a hundred different things, and it is so  worth it.

We all want our spouse to work at it, but we’re the one who has to work at marriage. Marriage won’t work if you won’t.

When God told us to love our wives and respect our husbands, He was telling us to work at our marriages. Love and respect are things that you do, not what you feel.

I can assure you that you will have to work at your marriage, and I can assure you it’s well worth the effort.

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2 Responses

  1. Waylon, you’re right on target, my friend. Braxton Leverette was right in his good counsel to his young pastor years ago. My testimony resonates with yours. Mona and I know the value of those words, “Marriage is good, BUT YOU HAVE TO WORK AT IT.” It does take a heap of living in a house to make it home. In the same manner, It takes a lot of hard work to merge two lives into one. Thanks for reminding all of us. Hang tough and tender for Jesus. Tell Martha hello from Hattiesburg. Don Stewart.

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