Relationships are at the heart of life. Without good relationships, we miss much of what God planned for us.

Years ago, a man moved to Covington and began attending our church. He had begun a business and looked forward to the time when his wife and children would move as well.

Before long, he came to me with his dilemma. For whatever reason, his wife didn’t want to move. I never met her so I had no idea how to judge the situation. Shortly before he left our church and community, he shared words I have never forgotten. He mentioned how well his business was doing and how pleased he was with it. Then, he gave me the words I haven’t forgotten: “If you don’t have someone to share it with, making money really doesn’t matter.” He left town soon thereafter.

Recently I read a blog from Focus on the Family centered on pastors and relationships.

It had to do with resolving hurting and broken relationships.

Let me give you four thoughts about resolving relationships.

First, everyone has relationship issues. Since relationships are central to our existence, we all have to deal with difficult relationships. Don’t think you are the only one having to overcome these problems. We all do. We shouldn’t be ashamed about it unless we refuse to do what’s necessary to help make them better.

Second, apologies must be given and they must be received. Both sides of the difficulty must be resolved–apologies have to be given and accepted.

Ted Cunningham with Focus says that ” ‘I am sorry’ are three of the most powerful words we use to restore relationships. . . . Not ‘Sorry,’ but the complete ‘I am sorry.’ If you want to go the extra mile, follow up with ‘Will you forgive me?’ ”

Third, choose your words carefully. Think through what you will say, pray about it, and practice it aloud. Make the conversation brief and to the point. Don’t add to the hurt by going over the history of the relationship. If you mean to apologize, then apologize.

Your words matter. God’s Word gives us the value of words fitly spoken. “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” but “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 16:24; 12:18).

Let your words “be sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

Finally, make your apologies in person. Email, texting, and phone calls work really well for some things but not for apologies. Meeting in person and looking someone in the eye makes the apology more real and more readily received and forgiven.

God made us for fellowship with Him and with others. As you improve your relationship with others, you will enjoy a better relationship with God.

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