Last week Martha and I sat down and discussed many areas that will make marriage better–not just ours but anybody’s.

While marriage is hard–it has to be because we are all flawed individuals–it is not impossible. There are a number of ways you and your spouse can improve your marriage. Here are three ways I wrote about recently to make your marriage better: http://waylonbailey.com/2015/02/09/three-ways-to-make-your-marriage-better/

Here are five more ways you can work to make your marriage better.

First, discuss the needs in your marriage. No marriage is perfect. We all have needs. If you can communicate about your issues, you are well on your way to making your marriage better.

Almost every weakness in a marriage can be made better, even communication. But remember communication takes two people who are willing to be honest and willing to hear–really hear–about what they can do to make their marriage better.

Second, identify weaknesses and flashpoints. You may be doing something that irritates your spouse and you don’t even know it. You could change quickly and easily if you only knew about it. Communication–honest, sincere, and gentle–can solve a lot of problems.

Third, live considerately of your spouse. Think about his/her needs. Think about the things that are really important to him/her. Think about what you can do rather than what your spouse should do.

Paul called the church at Ephesus to be kind, considerate, tenderhearted, and forgiving. Those are great words for a marriage. Live according to Paul’s demands for the church and you will make your marriage better.

Fourth, Don’t be “historical.” Instead of dragging up past irritants, be willing to forgive and move on. If forgiveness is necessary in the church, it is surely necessary in the closest of relationships.

Fifth, mind your manners. Treat your spouse and other family members with the same consideration you have for strangers. One of our favorite people of all time told Martha and me about the time her sons asked her: “Why don’t you talk to us the way you do to people on the phone?” From that time on she made a conscious effort to talk to her children with the kindness she exhibited to strangers.

Marriage is hard because it’s so close and personal; it’s good for the same reason. Do your best to make your marriage better.

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