We are all painfully aware that life rarely turns out the way we had hoped. As a pastor, I often see people who struggle with hopes and dreams that never worked out. Unfortunately, this is a common occurrence.

How do you reset your hopes and dreams and move forward with your life? How do you overcome life’s disappointments?

First, you have to deliberately deal with life as it is rather than as you hoped it would be. This is the crucial first step in any kind of recovery. You simply cannot live in the past; you must deal with the present.

I often tell people to do some “self-talk“ where they acknowledge that “this is not what I had hoped but I will be able to move forward.“ Sometimes, it’s not yourself you have to tell this to but someone close to you who is not able to deal with your situation.

Paul told the church at Philippi, “forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus“ (Philippians 3:13-14).

Second, reset your dreams and hopes based on the current reality. You simply have to deal with the now rather than with the past. That’s what Paul also said to the Philippians. He moved forward with the situation as he found it.

Third, look expectantly for the good God can bring from your current situation. When Paul said, “God works all things together for good” (Romans 8:28), he certainly did not mean that everything that happens to us is good, he simply meant that when we look and depend on God we will find that God is at work within us to use our hurt, pain, or illness to teach us and bless us in the midst of the pain.

Fourth, look for ways to comfort other people for whom life has not turned out the way they hoped. While this may be the most difficult thing you can do, it will be a blessing to yourself and to others.

Paul affirmed that God “comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we are ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Corinthians 1:4).

Life has never been easy in human history. We should assume it won’t be easy now, but we should look expectantly and with hope to the God who loves us and promises to be with us in all of the difficulties of life.