Grief is different for everyone and in every situation. I have spoken those truths over the years.
Everyone does experience grief. Sometimes it is very brief and at other times it is quite prolonged. Some people grieve in traditional ways (weeping, sadness) while others grieve in quite different ways.
What is strange to me is that my grief for my mother has come in week two more than week one. I suppose we were making arrangements last week and this week I am dealing with reality. I found myself early this morning dreading going back into her house to go through everything.
I didn’t see this coming.
What’s important is that you do grieve and that you express grief appropriately. Martha has encouraged me “not to keep it inside” as I probably am prone to do, but to simply express to her how I feel. I know I tend to minimize any negative emotions I feel.
Martha wrote a book entitled “It Hurts But I’m Okay,” where she writes about expressing grief (it hurts) without frightening the person who asks (but I’m okay).
Grief is normal. Jesus grieved over Lazarus and wept over his tomb. He mourned with Mary and Martha and spoke words of eternal truth concerning the death of Lazarus (John 11). The events concerning Lazarus’s death and resurrection blessed the people of his day and continue to bless us. We can let every experience of life be a means of blessing and growth when we seek God and allow God to grow us through life.
One of the things my mother taught me was that God redeems every situation. In one of the darkest experiences of my life (I thought I was devastated, I wasn’t), she quoted Romans 8:28 about how God works for good for those who love Him. Over the next few years, I was able to witness God doing exactly what He said He would do.
I’m trying to grieve properly while encouraging the people around me.
Grief is very strange, but it is God’s blessing to us as we remember those we love and prepare to go forward without them.